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Retirement Sayings, Retirement Gifts,
Retirement Poems, and Retirement Quotes
Brought to you by the author of:
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free

The #1 Retirement Book Listed on Amazon.com — Out of
Over 150,000 Listings for Retirement Books!
Over 95,000 Copies Sold
Retirement Sayings
Don't wait for retirement to be happy and really start living. Invariably, people who try this find out that they have waited much too long.
— from Life's Secret Guide to Happiness
Welfare is not a retirement plan
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
Definitions of Retirement
Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working
at living.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: The time in your life when time is no longer money.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Poem
An elegant sufficiency, content,
Retirement, rural quiet, friendship, books,
Ease and alternate labour, useful life,
Progressive virtue, and approving Heaven!
— James Thomson, 1700-1748, Spring
Retirement Sayings
Heaven, that’s my retirement plan.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.
— Unknown wise person
The Newest Retirement Quotes and
Retirement Sayings on This Webpage
I have retired, un retired, and retired again all in the past 10 years.
I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . . . you
can't tell when your done
— Unknown wise person
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about
getting caught at it.
— Gene Perret
I retired early for health reasons — my company was sick of me and
I was sick of them.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial.
— Seneca
Some of the More Recent Retirement Quotes and
Retirement Sayings on This Webpage
Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does.
— Unknown wise person
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
— Unknown wise person
I’m now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same income.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Gift #1
For Those Who Absolutely, Positively Want to Read
The Best Retirement Book in the World
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How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
Retirement Wisdom You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor
by Ernie J. Zelinski
Purchase at:
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Retirement Sayings and Retirement Qutoes
for Retirement Speeches
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.
— Unknown wise person
More Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
for Retirement Speeches
I’m retired. You on the other hand have to go to work.
— Unknown wise person
The money’s no better in retirement but the hours are!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Poem
Don’t you stay at home of evenings?
Don’t you love a cushioned seat
In a corner, by the fireside, with your slippers on your feet?
— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
One of the Longer Retirement Quotes or Retirement Sayings
on This Webpage
It's All in How You Play the Game, Isn't It?
Let's see now. How will I know when I am a senior.
Hmmmmmmm.....
Some places give me a senior's discount at 55, some at 60 and some
at 65.
My government pension will be sent to me when I am 65.
My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65. (I'm going to beat them
to the punch and retire at 60.)
So that means that parts of our society think 'senior' begins at 55.
How will I personally know?
Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't think I'll ever know.
It's all in how you play the game, isn't it?
— Unknown Wise Person's Submission to a Senior's Website
Retirement Quotes
A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em
to get a life.
— Larry Laser
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
— Jonathan Clements
Retirement Poem
Fear no more the heat o’ th’ sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages.
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone and ta’en thy wages.
— William Shakespeare
F R E E E - B O O K !
The 437 Best Things Ever Said
about RETIREMENT
120 Pages of Retirement Quotes
and Retirement Sayings
Placed in Over 60 Categories
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The 437 Best Things Ever Said about Retirement
Retirement Sayings for Retirement Speeches
When you see some people work you wonder what they’ll do in retirement.
— Unknown wise person
He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Planning Made Easy

The Latest Letter from a Reader about
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
This letter comes from Blake Wheaton who wrote to me in March 2006 from Burleigh Waters, Queensland, Australia.
Dear Ernie.
I enjoyed reading "The Joy of Not Working" and "How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free." Both have been important books for me. I'm 55 and have worked continuously since I was 11 delivering The Montreal Gazette before 7 a.m. I have lived in Queensland for 31 years and have taught high-school science all that time. Your focus on "purpose" has hit home. I still find purpose in teaching but have decided to cut back to part-time to free up time (especially weekends). Thanks for helping me arrive at that decision - your books have been almost like a sounding board and I'll read them again.
Thanks again.
Yours,
Blake Wheaton
Retirement Jokes
Retirement Joke #1
What does a government retiree miss most about not having a job?
Not being able to call in sick two or three times a month.
Retirement Joke # 2
s
How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job.
Retirement Joke #3
What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire?
Flat broke!
Retirement Joke #4
When is it a retiree's bedtime?
Two hours after he falls asleep on the sofa.
Retirement Joke #5
What do retirees call a long lunch?
A short lunch.
Retirement Joke #6
What is the typical retiree's greatest frustration?
Not being able to complete all the things he had planned to do that don't need to get done in the first place.
Retirement Joke #7
What is the typical government retiree's idea of intense physical exercise?
A good brisk sit!
Sa
More Retirement Sayings, Retirement Quotes, Etc.
(Retirement Poems for Retirement Speeches)
Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.
— Richard Armour
Learn to live well, or fairly make your will;
You’ve played, and loved, and ate, and drunk your fill:
Walk sober off; before a sprightlier age
Comes tittering on, and shoves you from the stage:
Leave such to trifle with more grace and ease,
Whom Folly pleases, and whose Follies please.
— Alexander Pope (1688–1744), English satirical poet.
More Retirement Quotes and Retirement Sayings
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
— Abe Lemons
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
— Robert Half
More General Retirement Quotes and
Retirement Sayings
A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.
— Harry Mahtar
I really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to cancel my golf
games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.
— Richard Davies
Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire.
— Margaret Mead
Retirement Poem
Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved the earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
— From Ulysses by Alfred Tennyson
Retirement Sayings for Retirement Speeches
One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
More Definitions of Retirement
Retirement, when every day is Saturday!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: No Job, No Stress, No Pay!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: Twice the husband, half the money!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
— Mason Cooley
We have no porch, no rocking chair — and no time. My biggest need
is a calendar because there are so many things to do. Now I encourage people to retire — the younger the better.
— Maurice Musholt


Retired Happy, Wild, and Free The Book That Gets You There
Retirement Poem
O, blest retirement! friend to life's decline —
How blest is he who crowns, in shades like these,
A youth of labor with an age of ease!
— Goldsmith.
Retirement Quotes
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
— George Bernard Shaw
Retirement requires the invention of a new hedonism, not a return
to the hedonism of youth
— Mason Cooley
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one
left.
— George F. Burns
Retirement Sayings
Sixty-five is the age when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job.
— Unknown wise person
Before deciding to retire from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Jobs
Truth be known, you can retire today and work a few hours a day when you want to, live anywhere in the world you choose, and earn a six-figure annual income.
— Find out how at: Retirement Jobs at The Real Success Resource Center
Retirement Planning Made Easy

Another Letter from a Reader about
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
This short letter about comes from Mavis Marko in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.
Dear Ernie.
I enjoyed your book "How to "Retire Happy, Wild, and Free." It sure is "Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor." I am going to give it to her to read next.
I can't wait for another book by you.
Have a great fall and winter.
Thanks,
Mavis
Retirement Quotes
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.
— George Burns
Age [and retirement] appear to be best in four things — old wood best
to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors
to read.
— Francis Bacon
Retirement Sayings
I'm retired — I'm not dead!
— Unknown wise person
RETIREMENT: The time in your life when time is no longer money.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
There are so many other interesting ways to spend your time. I feel
like early retirement is a gift, but it's such an incredible gift.
It's a gift I need to use.
— Martha Felt-Bardon
When I retire I'm going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going
through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.
— Richard Milhouse Nixon
Retirement Gift #2
The Second World’s Best Retirement Book

Illustrated by eye-opening exercises, thought-provoking diagrams, and lively cartoons and quotations, The Joy of Not Working is a provocative, entertaining, down-to-earth, and tremendously inspiring book that will help you get more joy and satisfaction out of everything you do.
As Seen in USA TODAY
Download the Free E-Book
Purchase The Joy of Not Working
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The Latest Letter from a Reader about
The Joy of Not Working
This letter was written to me in March 2007 by Ayumi Nakabayashi
in Osaka, Japan:.
Dear Ernie.
I have just read you The Joy of Not Working and I'm writing to thank you.
I'm a single working mother with twin daughters. What this means is I'm a poor miserable woman in Japanese society, so I am always worried about money for the future more than necessary and never enjoying my present life.
This book gave me a different view of my life, which I should pay
attention to. I don't earn much money but enough to live, and have
free time to enjoy. I feel excited about thinking how to spend my
free time now. I'm making an "Idea Tree" [Get-a-Life Tree] after writing this letter. To read The Joy of Not Working in English is on the top of the list! I have forgotten that I have a lot of things I want to do.
This book gave me a chance to think over the relationship with boring
people, too.
I'm sorry I don't have enough words to explain how I feel now in English, but I really appreciate you.
Sincerely,
Ayumi Nakabayashi
Retirement Joke
A retired man went to a doctor for a general check-up. The doctor told the retiree that everything was fine and that, in fact, he was "in real good shape for a man of 93.”
"That's good to know because I'm getting married in two weeks," said the retiree.
"Getting married! That's wonderful! Who's the lucky bride?" asked the doctor.
The retiree replied, "She's a 27-year-old bar maid I met at the local pub."
"Only 27!" The doctor paused before he advised, "Then you will need some Viagra."
The man replied, "No way, I never take drugs of any type. It's against my principles."
The doctor took some more time before he responded with: "You are in good shape, but nevertheless you are 93. May I suggest that you and your wife take in a boarder?"
"Why a boarder?" asked the retiree.
"Well, you know, at your age," winked the doctor, "you may not be able to do all the things a young woman would like a husband to do around the house. A boarder will be able to help."
The retiree shrugged and said, "I guess you are right," as he walked out of the office.
A year later, the retiree, now 94, came back to the doctor for another checkup. "How's married life?" asked the doctor.
"Amazing, it couldn't be better. I should have remarried years ago."
"How's your wife?" asked the doctor.
"She's doing fine," announced the retiree, "and she's pregnant."
"Pregnant!" exclaimed the doctor. "I take it that you took in a boarder who has fit in quite well?"
"'Yes, and she's pregnant too," grinned the retiree.
Irish Retirement Blessing
May you always have work
for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold
always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright
on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain
to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend
always be near you.
And may God fill your heart
with gladness to cheer you.
Retirement Quotes for Retirement Speeches
The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel
Sanders was a friend of chickens.
— Charles T. Manatt
Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. It means choice.
— Dianne Nahirny
Retirement Sayings
When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to tell the difference.
— Unknown wise person
When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
The way retirement is shaping up, how will one know for sure when
he or she has retired?
— Robin Fowler
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
— Vince Lombardi
Retirement Sayings
Sex is Number 1 of my Top 10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other 8.
— from Graffiti for the Enlightened Soul
I'm retired — I'm not dead!
— Unknown Wise Person
Retirement Quotes
The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
— George Foreman
Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying retirement! The best part is observing
my neighbors drive off to work in the morning knowing that that their
day will be filled with jerks, brainless and endless meetings, jerks,
vendor lunches where you hold your breath just waiting for the sales
pitch until you regurgitate your pasta, more jerks and the eventual
company reorganization of the section that was just reorganized last
month!
— Bill Kalmar
Read The Absolutely, Positively Best Things
Anybody Ever Said about Retirement in:
How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
What the Media Is Saying about
The World's Best Retirement Book
“To be sure, retirement books are a glutted field, but most focus on money and financial planning. They view the finish line as the last day of employment. That’s where Zelinski’s [How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free] begins.”
— Jonathan Chevreau, retirement columnist with the National Post
Retirement Quotes
I have now the gloomy prospect of retiring from office loaded with
serious debts, which will materially affect the tranquility of my
retirement.
— Thomas Jefferson
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.
— Muhammad Ali (on the occasion of one of his retirements)
More Retirement Sayings
The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
— Unknown wise person
The key to a happy retirement is to have enough money to live on, but not enough to worry about.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes
I am a free man. I feel as light as a feather.
— Javier Pérez de Cuéllar (b. 1920), Peruvian diplomat, Secretary-General of U.N.
The student who secures his coveted leisure and retirement by systematically
shirking any labor necessary to man obtains but an ignoble and unprofitable
leisure, defrauding himself of the experience which alone can make
leisure fruitful.
— Henry David Thoreau
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